Partings
by Starlight Rose
Summary: A series about Yue parting with those he cares about. Slight shounen-ai implications. Angsty Yue/Sakura unreciprecated love. Sixth chapter just added.
1. Clow

Partings 1: Clow  
By: Starlight Rose  
AIM: starlighto rose  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer 1: I wish I owned CCS but alas I don't own it. It's  
owned by CLAMP, Kodansha, Nelvana, and maybe a few other  
companies that I don't know of.  
  
Disclaimer 2: The conversations in this chapter came from Ann's translation of manga volume ten. Her site is at:http://sakura.dreamhost.com/  
  
A.N. There just isn't enough Yue fics out there. The only two good Yue fics I know are Shadows of the Moon by Learth and Starlight, Starbright by Ann so I decided to write my own. There's a small amount of implied shounen-ai in this chapter. BTW all the chapters can stand alone. They all deal with Yue parting with those he cares about in one form or another. Enjoy and please review or comment.  
  
*****************************  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" I demanded of Clow as Keroberus and I stood confronting him.  
  
"I already told you the meaning." My master replied back calmly. All I could do was stare at him in disbelief.  
  
"Today I die," Clow continued in his normal pleasant manner. He sat in his armchair in front of the fire as usual while Keroberus and I stood before him.   
  
Those three words shattered the pleasant silence of the evening like a hammer smashing glass.   
  
Glass.   
  
That was what my heart felt like at that moment.   
  
Shattered glass.  
  
I couldn't comprehend Clow's death. It seemed impossibly surreal. Surely it was just another joke he was trying to play on us. Warranted a sick joke, but a joke none the less. I heard Keroberus voice my thought as he told Clow in a cold voice that even rivaled the my tone, "It's not a very funny joke."  
  
Looking apologetically at us he informed us in that unnervingly calm manner, "I'm sorry, it's not a joke Keroberus."  
  
Still I could not understand it. How could he die? Why did he create us if he was going to die and leave us alone? It seemed like a cruel trick even for Clow. It was wrong. He couldn't die! Shaking my head in confusion I screamed at him, "Why?!?"  
  
"It's my life span." He informed me with that damned serene smile on his face. It didn't disturb him one bit that he was dying, but it disturbed me.  
  
Keroberus apparently didn't accept that excuse either as he whispered calmly, "You are Clow Reed, the most powerful sorcerer in the world, who can bend nature to your will. You created us and we know you best. You've lived for hundreds of years without your powers weakening."  
  
"That may be, but every living thing must come to it's end." He informed us quietly, "Therefore, I have made preparations." Keroberus rested his head gently on the book on Clow's lap. Clow stroked his head gently in a comforting manner.  
  
"What preparations?" Keroberus asks suspiciously? I stayed silent, not wanting to accept his death, not wanting to know.  
  
"After I am gone you will learn to love someone else." He tells us trying to comfort our grief. He knew that we loved him, yet he was leaving us. I couldn't believe he could be so cruel! Why did he create us just to leave us? Why create conscious thinking beings that lived longer than you do and would feel the grief of your death?!? It wasn't right! I refused to accept it! I refused to accept anyone else as my master.  
  
I told him that yelling at him with an anguished cry, "I don't need another master." That was true, I didn't need another master. I just needed Clow. Why didn't he understand that? Why did he want to leave me? Didn't he know how much I loved him?  
  
Clow held my face tenderly in his hands and told me seriously, "Then it would be good if you decide, whether or not that person is suitable."  
  
Turning away from him I yelled at him trying to make him understand, "There is no one suitable!" I didn't think he understood because if he did he wouldn't have asked that of me. But I was wrong. Clow understood me better than anyone, better than myself even. I knew he wanted me to be happy, but I just didn't see how I could be happy without him.  
  
I grabbed his arm as he turned to Keroberus and told him, "Yue is partial. So please decide on a candidate, Keroberus."  
  
Keroberus looked at him horrified. In a gruff voice he asked, "Are you serious? How can I do that?" I could understand his position. How could you choose someone else to be your master, if you loved your current one. But looking back with hindsight, Clow made a good choice giving Keroberus the role of the Candidate Selector. If I had been given that role I would have chosen no one. Keroberus loved Clow, but he was not in love with Clow like I was. He was willing to obey Clow's last wish. Even with wanting to obey Clow I don't think I could have fulfilled the role of the Candidate Selector, because to me no one would have been as good of a choice as Clow.  
  
Clow didn't seem one bit worried about either his death or the prospect of Keroberus not finding a suitable candidate. He replied in a confident tone, "Surely they will appear. Someone you will admit as a new master."  
  
At that time I already had made up my mind. "I don't need a new master. I will sleep in the book forever." I told him. If Clow was going to die then I did not want to live. I didn't want to feel the pain of his death. I just wanted to sleep forever like I thought he was going to. If I did that then I wouldn't have to feel the pain of losing the one I loved most. I wouldn't have to accept a new master.  
  
Clow kissed my head gently and confessed, "Yue, Keroberus, and the Clow Cards, I poured all of my power and my heart into creating you all. Therefore, after I die, I want you to stay with your new master and be happy."  
  
He still didn't understand though that I wanted no one else. I just wanted him. I didn't think I could be happy with someone else, but I guess Clow did know me better than anyone else. I just wished he cared more about my feelings. Then-I wished I was never created, but now-I know Clow was right. But creating me to live indefinitely was still a cruel thing to do. I don't want to live while those I loved died. The only other that can understand how truly sad it can be to lose a loved one over and over again is Keroberus. Everyone goes through losing a loved one. Even I know that, but it's not the same as losing them over and over again. I will have to experience that until the day that I lose all my power and can no longer exist, but as long as I have a master or mistress to support me I will not feel the peace of death.  
  
He sealed me into the book where I slept for many years. Finally when I awoke I, searched for him. I still did not believe he had died, though he changed my memories. I never saw his death. He spared me that much, but in a way it might have been better if I had seen him die. It might have given me a sense of closure, though maybe not. After searching for him many years, I tired of it. Though had I known he was reborn, I would have continued searching.  
  
I retreated into myself. I turned into my false form of Yukito and locked away Yukito's knowledge of myself. I wanted to rest and not think anymore of it. If I could have ceased to exist I would have, but I wasn't so lucky. All I could do was stay dormant in the form of Yukito, but I was still conscious of all around me. I watched everything through Yukito's eyes. But that still gave me some comfort because I was someone else. I was not myself. It relieved some of my sorrow, but never all.   
  
I couldn't let go of Clow. Because of that I gave Sakura a harder time at her Judgement than I probably should have. Keroberus had accepted her and so had the Cards, but I refused to. It was only after finding out that Clow had planned it all and after I had been defeated that I accepted it. Even then I was hoping that in defeating me Sakura would destroy me, but she didn't. She just trapped me. She didn't want to be my mistress, but my friend. I accepted her as my mistress then, but still...I loved Clow.  
  
I couldn't say good-bye. I never had the chance to say good-bye.   
  
I think that's what hurt me the most. I couldn't let go until I had said good-bye. I finally could do it after meeting Clow's reincarnation. After talking to him, I was able to let go. I said my farewells to my former master silently and with much sorrow. But I finally said it. I could finally accept Clow's death.  



	2. Sakura

Partings 2: Sakura  
By: starlight Rose  
AIM: starlighto rose  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
AN: Well here's the next part of this short series. This is for all the Yue + Sakura fans out there. I would have put them together, but then there wouldn't be any angst and be can't have that right? Anyway the story is called Partings for a reason. Now if only I can find more good Yue fics out there I'd be happy! Well enjoy or not.  
  
*****************************  
  
Sakura. My mistress. She looks so happy up there with Clow's relative. Her smile is so bright. I wish I were the one standing up there with her. I wish I were the one making her smile. I should be happy for her. She will now be bound to the one she loves the most for eternity. I wish I could have been the one, but I'm not. It's ironic that I'm not the one.  
  
Ironic. That's the best way to describe my relationship with her. Clow really did know me better than anybody else. He was the one that predicted that I could be happy with her. He even predicted that I would fall in love with her. That's why he gave me the form of Yukito. I didn't believe him then. I thought I would never accept another master, but not only did I accept another master but also I fell in love with my new master. I guess it was impossible for me to not love that beautiful little girl with the bright green eyes, but I never thought I would fall IN love with her.   
  
I had the chance to be the one with her once, but I gave up that chance. I encouraged the boy that grew into the man that stood by her side up there on that stage. Clow's relative was also attracted to my false form. But I turned his feelings towards my mistress. I showed him where his feelings truly laid and he accepted my advice. She was also attracted to my false form. She told him that she liked him, but he rejected her. At the time I didn't stop him. I knew he liked someone else and I was willing to let him live his own life. After all, I wasn't in love with her. I should have guessed that as she grew I would fall in love with her, but I was too stupid to realize it then. I can never be with her as anything more than her guardian. I've lost that chance forever. The bond she shares with Clow's relative is eternal and binding, not like most marriages.  
  
Yukito didn't and still doesn't know. I don't want him to know. If he knew then he would be sad and I did not want him to be sad on my account. But I couldn't take seeing her up there anymore. It just hurt me too much. Tonight's her wedding night. Tonight I know that there is no chance I could be with her. Ever. But if I could be with her, would I take the opportunity? Likely not. That would be selfish of me and she has taught me many things. One of them is to think of others instead of yourself. So I think of Yukito instead of myself. Yukito's heart leans towards a different direction than my own.  
  
I mentally talk to Yukito. I started doing that after he learned of my existence. I think my existence bothered him a bit so I tried to come out a little as possible. But I need to get away. I need to get out so I ask him if I could. I could have done it without his permission, but that would have been rude. So I asked first. Yukito didn't understand why but he complied. I think he could feel some of my emotions. My confusion. My heart-ache. He moved to a shadowed part of the room to allow me to transform, unseen by anyone else.  
  
I transformed and left. I went out onto the balcony and looked at the stars and the moon. Ironic. They were just like my mistress and I. She was the star and I was the moon. So close to each other but at the same time millions of light-years apart. Separated by vast expanses of darkness and sky, but to the naked eye they seemed right next to each other.  
  
I don't know how long I stood out there just staring at the night sky when I felt a familiar presence approaching me. The presence was unmistakable. I could tell who it was without turning around. The person approaching had a comforting warm aura with a definite pink tinge to it. The scent of cherry blossoms wafted to my nose as I felt the person lay a soft delicate hand over my own. A soft sweet voice asked him gently, "Yue-san, what are you doing out here?"  
  
I turned around to smile sadly at my mistress and answered, "I was just thinking."  
  
She cocked her head delicately to the side and asked me curiously, "Do you mind telling me about what? You just seemed so sad sitting standing there like that."  
  
"Nothing important, but if you wish to know then I will tell you because you are my mistress." I replied. My mistress. That was what she was. I had to keep reminding myself that. Not my love but merely my mistress.  
  
"Yue-san. I told you before, I don't want to be your mistress but your friend." Sakura told me looking me directly in the eyes. She seemed so sad. Was it because of my sadness? Or was it because of my calling her my mistress? Or was it something else? I commanded my self to stop that train of thought. It wouldn't get me anywhere. She belonged to someone else now, and all she thought of me was as a friend. A friend. Nothing more. But at the same time nothing less. I knew as my friend she'd do anything to make me happy, but the one thing that could make me happy I could not ask her for.  
  
I smiled down at her and cup her face gently in my hand replying, "I know, Sakura. You are my friend." My friend and the person I love. That was what she was but I dared not tell her that.  
  
"I'm glad." Sakura said smiling brightly at me, "But could you tell me what you were thinking about?"  
  
I looked away from her and back up at the stars and replied, "I was thinking about my first true meeting with you and accepting you as my master. I'm sorry I was so hard on you that first time. I was just being stubborn." ."  
  
"Please don't apologize for that Yue-san. It was because of you that I tried harder. And you really loved Clow-san. I can see why you didn't want a new master. Anyway you helped me a lot when Eriol was testing me. Thank-you for protecting me all the time."  
  
Always sweet and forgiving. She didn't blame me for what I did to her. Instead she thanks me for it. Maybe that's why I love her.   
  
Love her.   
  
Why her, though? The one person I was made for, but could not be with.  
  
"If I could I would always protect you." I reply. "Unfortunately I will not be able to protect you anymore." I sighed warily, "You will be moving to Hong Kong with Clow's relative soon. I wish I could follow you and protect you as is my duty, but Yukito has a life here."   
  
That was right. Yukito had a life there with Touya. For Yukito's life I had to give up my own life. I suppose it was only fair since neither Yukito nor I would still exist if it weren't for Touya giving us his power. For Touya and Yukito's happiness I was more than willing to give up my own, but still...I felt sad to have to part from my mistress. I wanted to protect her.  
  
From the doorway I heard Keroberus's voice asking me, "What are you so worried about? Even though you won't be around to protect her, I will be moving in with them and she also has that brat to protect her."  
  
  
"That's right she has the stuffed animal and me to protect her." Sakura's new husband said as he walked up to Sakura and wrapped his arms around his new bride. "That stuffed animal is coming to Hong Kong with us though he will NOT be staying the same room as Sakura anymore. I don't want him around when we...ah..."   
  
He stopped there. I heard Keroberus snicker with amusement and I gave a half-hearted knowing smirk. Outwardly I acted as though I was amused by it all, but inside I was jealous. I was jealous that he was the one that held my mistress's heart. He was the one that would protect her. And it pained me even more knowing that had Yukito's heart leaned towards Sakura then I could have been the one with her instead of him.  
  
Sakura looked at all of us before smiling her sweet smile and telling us, "Thank-you for wanting to protect me, but I can take care of myself now."  
  
I smiled down at her realizing that she could indeed protect herself. "Yes you can now, can't you. You are the most powerful sorceress in the world." I had to give her up whether I wanted to or not. She didn't need me to protect her. She could protect herself. And whether I liked it or not she belonged to someone else. All I could do was let go and be happy that she found someone that loved her and would protect her as fiercely as I would have, even if the person weren't me. I had to let go. For now, I had to part with her and allow Yukito to live his life.   
  
I smiled down at her and whispered, "Sayonara," before folding my wings around my body and resuming the form of Yukito. Yukito could live his life now. I would not interfere with his life anymore unless my mistress called upon me, or Yukito himself called upon me.  
  
  
  



	3. Touya

Partings 3: Touya  
By: Starlight Rose  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: How many times must I write that CCS does not belong to me but to CLAMP, ya hear, not me so don't sue me!  
  
A.N. I know a long time in coming, but I'm finally done with this chapter and hopefully the next one will not take too long to come out.  
  
*****************************  
  
I walk down a cold white hospital corridor and for once I know Yukito is not smiling. It is through Yukito's eyes that I see everything that is happening around me and it is through him that I am feeling this pain in my chest. Yukito reaches a door with the name Kinomoto on the nameplate. I feel Yukito's dread at opening the door because he knows as well as I do that each time he goes in there he sees his favorite person in worse condition.  
  
We both also know that this will probably be the last time he will enter this hospital room. About six months ago Touya was diagnosed with a terminal illness. The illness was incurable. It was the same one that had taken Touya's mother's life and it was apparently about to claim him. The doctor had told Touya that he only had a few months to live and to make the most of his time left. Touya tried to live the few months he had left in the manner that he wanted to until a month ago. Touya's condition had been slowly deteriorating until finally the doctor deemed it best for him to enter the hospital. He did though after much persuading because he did not want to die in a cold hospital like he was about to do now.  
  
I felt Yukito's regret at having persuaded Touya into entering the hospital, but I could not comfort my other self. There was no way to comfort someone that was about to lose their favorite person. I knew that from experience. Even if you know the person will find someone else, it does not help.   
  
I could not help him, like I cannot help Touya. Magic cannot solve all your problems. To those that have a lot of power they can sometime prolong their life, but they cannot prolong the life of someone whose natural life span is about to end. If it were so then I could have saved Touya, but I cannot. I wonder though, if Touya had never given me his power would he have lived longer? It hurts me to think of it, but this knowledge I keep to myself. I don't want Yukito to know about it because it is better for me to blame myself for Touya's death than for Yukito to blame himself for Touya's death.  
  
It is better this way.  
  
Yukito finally gathers up his strength and opens up the door. Inside the room Touya is laying in the hospital bed with various tubes coming out of him. Yukito shuts his eyes at the sight. He reopens them again a few moments later and I see Sakura and her husband standing by the bed. They both look exactly the same as the last time I saw them. They did not age.  
  
Sakura was sitting by the bed holding Touya's hand and crying. I heard her murmuring softly, "Onii-chan, please don't leave me. Otou-san already left us last year and joined Okaa-san in heaven. It's too soon for you to leave me too."  
  
Yukito turns away from the sorrowful scene in front of him. I am glad that he did because I do not think that I could have endured watching it much longer. I heard Touya's voice whispering softly to Sakura trying to comfort her. "Kaijou stop crying. I will never leave you. Okaa-san, Otou-san, and I love you too much to ever leave you. We will always be watching over you. You can even see us now. You have the power to see ghosts and you've seen Okaa-san and Otou-san sometimes so don't be sad."  
  
"But Onii-chan, I don't want you to die. I don't understand why you have to die." Sakura cried.  
  
"It is a natural part of life. Everyone has to die, I'm just dying before you, but eventually our family will be together again. So stop crying." Touya told his sister warily. I could tell that Touya was getting tired and would not last much longer. He was breathing heavily now and his breathes were becoming more labored. A cough caused his body to spasm violently and when he was done I noticed a bright red stain on the cloth Sakura had given him to cough into. Out of the corner of Yukito's eyes I could see him turning to face Li Syaoran, "Oy, gaki!"  
  
I smiled involuntarily at that. Touya never changed even in a situation like this. I heard him telling the boy, "I'm leaving my imouto to you. You better take good care of her and never make her sad or I'll haunt you for the rest of your nearly immortal life."  
  
I saw the boy smile sadly at his brother-in-law before giving him a pretend glare and retorting, "Try it and I'll exorcise you." His tone softened then and he murmured quietly, "Don't worry. I'll take good care of Sakura."  
  
Touya nodded his head weakly and then spotted Yukito standing here by the door with his head turned sadly away. "Yuki..." he whispered sadly. Yukito turned his head towards Touya and I could feel the tears in Yukito's eyes. It hurt me to know the pain Yukito was experiencing right now, but there was no way for me to relieve his pain.   
  
I saw Touya laying the bed and felt a pain that was not Yukito's but my own as well. It was Touya's relationship with Yukito that gave me my first glimpse at many things. Through Touya's relationship with Yukito I learned what it was like to be loved by another person. I learned friendship and the complete and utter trust that came with it. Without Touya I don't think Yukito could have been the innocent and trusting person he was. Without Touya I would not have been able to accept the notion of friendship. I have learned so much from Touya and Yukito yet there is no way for me to pay them back for all of it.  
  
It's ironic how I originally chose to befriend Touya because he possessed the power to mask my own, but so much more developed out of it. Friendship and love developed out of a desire to mask my presence. Touya knew that I was inside Yukito, but he did not mind it. In the end I owe my continuing existence to Touya. Because of his love for Yukito he gave up his power to allow Yukito and myself to exist. I owe him so much and it pains me to know that perhaps if he had not given up his power he might still be able to live. I may not be able to repay him but I could at the very least thank him. I asked Yukito if I may have a few words with Touya and Yukito agrees. I know that he just wants to delay his inevitable good-bye to the one he loves the most by agreeing to it, but I am grateful to him for allowing me to have some of the precious little time he has left with Touya.  
  
I transformed into myself allowing Yukito to retreat into my mind and sleep. Touya seemed a bit surprised at my transformation, but he still smiled weakly at me. "I'm glad you decided to come out. I wanted to talk to you a bit." I nodded my head and approached him.  
  
"I know what you're thinking while you're looking at me lying here." He said seriously, "You're thinking that it's your fault that I am dying. If I hadn't given my power to sustain you and Yukito, I might be able to live longer." He coughed again this time harder than last time, spitting up more blood as he did so.   
  
"I wanted to tell you to not blame yourself for this. I gave my power to you to save Yuki, because I loved him. I also gave my power to you to take care of Sakura, which you did. It wouldn't have mattered even if I had not given you my power. My Okaa-san had power also, but she too died from this illness. I was lucky to have been able to live this long and I'm happy to have been able to meet you and Yuki. I've lived twenty years longer than my Okaa-san and I've lived a happy life. I have nothing to complain about so you should not feel guilty about it. If you feel guilty and responsible for my death then you won't be able to take care of Sakura and Yuki for me once I'm gone. I gave you my power to protect them so I want to use it to do so even after I die. Promise me you'll watch over them." Touya asked grabbing my cold hand firmly in his. Despite the fact that he was dying his hand still felt warm and strong. There is so much about Touya that reminded me of Clow and so much of him that reminded me of Sakura, but Touya was still Touya. He was special because he was the one that Yukito loved.  
  
"I promise." I whispered solemnly. I shut my eyes and then returned to the form of Yukito. Yukito blinked a few times to reorient himself. He looked down at his hand, which was holding one of Touya's hands. I felt Yukito steeling himself to look at Touya full on without crying. He managed to do it but I felt the tears gathering his eyes as he stared at Touya.   
  
Touya lifted his hand and brushed the tears from his eyes and said softly, "Yuki, please don't cry. Tears don't suit you. You should be happy and cheerful, not sad."  
  
"How can I be happy without you, Touya? Don't leave me please." Yukito begged Touya.  
  
Touya sighed warily and stroked Yukito's cheeks as he told him, "Every living thing must die sometime. It is my turn to die, but I will always be with you, in spirit if not in body. Don't be sad for me Yuki. I don't want to leave when you're sad."  
  
"I know, but I don't want to live without you." Yukito cried.  
  
"It's okay Yuki. I'm happy to have met you. Thank-you for loving me." Touya said as he closed his eyes.  
  
"Touya?!?" Yukito cried frantically.  
  
"It's ok Yuki. I'm just tired. Do you mind if I sleep now?"  
  
Yukito, Sakura, and the Li boy shook their heads and settled about the room to watch over Touya as he slept. Touya closed his eyes and fell asleep. He never woke up. He died sometime during the night. The doctors said that he died peacefully without anymore pain. That mollified Yukito some, but he was still upset over his death. Yukito slowly fell into a depression.  
  
Touya's funeral was held on a beautiful spring day. The sky was a bright blue with a few wispy white clouds dotting it. Many people gathered at the cemetery to see Touya's body laid into the ground. As the priest gave his sermons I watched from Yukito's eyes as Sakura cried on Syaoran's shoulder and knew that Yukito had no one that he could lean on. Touya had always been the one that Yukito had leaned on but this time Yukito no longer had Touya. I tried to talk to Yukito and comfort him, but I felt him tuning me out. I knew that Yukito felt dead.   
  
I waited until the ceremony was over and Touya's coffin had been laid into the ground. Sakura and Yukito both placed a blood red rose on the grave and started walking away with everyone else. "Yukito?" I murmured.  
  
"Hai?" Yukito answered me quietly.  
  
"Would you like to sleep within me? I know you do not want to live without Touya and although you cannot die and join him because I cannot die, would you like to sleep forever in my mind?" I asked him. I knew he would say yes, although I did not want him to. If Yukito chose to sleep then that would be another person I love lost to me forever. But I was not cruel enough to keep him here just so I would have his company.  
  
"Is it okay with you if I do so?" Yukito asked me worriedly. I guess I wasn't as good at hiding my feelings from him as I thought.  
  
"If you are happy, then it is okay with me. I do not want to see you sad either. Touya entrusted me with taking care of you and this is all I can do to comfort you. But before you do so would you talk to Sakura so that she will not e too sad about your leaving?"  
  
"Hai. Thank-you Yue for allowing me to be with Touya in a way. Without having to worry about me you can now be with Sakura-chan, ne?"  
  
I was taken a back by his comment. I never knew that he knew my feelings for Sakura. I had always thought I had hid it from him, but I laughed at myself as I realized that Yukito had to know since he was I as much as I was he. I smiled mentally and told him, "Hai, I can be with Sakura now."  
  
Yukito went to talk to Sakura that night. She surprisingly understood about it. I expected her to be more upset, but she accepted it because she understood Yukito's feelings. We decided not to allow Yukito to rest immediately, but to get to Hong Kong before I had him retreat into my mind. Yukito was much happier after that because he knew that in a way he would be with Touya again. I was happy for him even though I was saddened by the thought of losing him so soon after I lost Touya. I think he knew my loneliness and tried to reassure me as best he could. I took comfort from his words and from the knowledge that I at least still had Sakura even if she was with the Li boy.   
  
I knew that the Li boy knew my feelings for her and that Sakura probably also knew. I could tell by the sympathetic looks that he gave me. He knew how I felt for her and I it did not seem to bother him. I wondered why, but I realized why without very little more thought. He was comfortable with Tomoyo's love for Sakura so why would he not be comfortable with my love for her. He saw us not as competition, but rather as friends. He was a lot like Sakura and I knew he belonged with her, even if it meant that I could not be the one with her.  
  
The night that we arrived in Hong Kong had my last conversation with Yukito. Sakura and her husband were gathered in front of him. Sakura hugged him tightly and said her good-byes as Syaoran watched. Sakura stood there to watch as I turned into Yukito, but I could not do it until I had said my farewells. I was surprised to hear Yukito address me first, "Yue, thank-you for creating me. Thank-you for allowing me to live and meet To-ya, Sakura-chan, Syaoran-kun, and Tomoyo-chan. Thank-you for also letting me go to sleep. Please take care of everyone for me. Sayonara."  
  
"Sayonara Yukito. Thank-you for being my friend." I whispered to him before I resumed my true form to allow Yukito to rest eternally.   
  
Sakura stood in front of me with tears in her eyes that she had held back while Yukito was still there. "Yue-san...thank-you for giving Yukito-san the peace he wanted." she told me as she threw her arms around me and cried into my chest. I felt tears in my eyes and let them fall as I hugged her as much giving her comfort as receiving comfort from her.  



	4. Death

Partings 4: Death  
By: Starlight Rose  
E-mail: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer 1: I wish I owned CCS but alas I don't own it. It's  
owned by CLAMP, Kodansha, Nelvana, and maybe a few other  
companies that I don't know of.  
  
A.N. Ok a lot of you will probably want to kill me for this but here's the chapter for Sakura's death. You didn't really think I would not include such a monumental parting did you? As for why I haven't written anything lately and when I finally do return with something I'll simply blame my computer and a writer's block. BTW there is going to be two more chapters to this story and those should come out quickly thanks to my having written them before I wrote this chapter.  
  
*****************************  
  
Tears that I never knew Clow had made me capable of shedding clouded my eyes as I looked upon my beloved mistress. It was happening again. The master that I loved was about to leave. "Sakura..." I sobbed in a voice not my own, a voice choked and hoarse with tears. I sat next to her on a window seat looking out upon a moonlit garden holding her cradled in my arms, my wings curving protectively around her. Keroberus sat with his head resting forlornly upon her lap.  
  
Sakura smiled sweetly up at me. Her normally brilliant emerald eyes were the only things that belied her age. She was now several hundred years old but still possessed the body of a young woman in her mid-twenties, but her eyes showed all the years she had lived. They shined with wisdom, love, experience, and sorrow. "Yue, Kero-chan..." she said gently, "I'm sorry. I know how sad you were when Clow-san died."  
  
"You can't die, Sakura!" Keroberus shouted at Sakura his eyes full of the anguish I felt.  
  
Sakura stroked his head and replied, "Clow-san once told you that every living thing must die. It is my turn now. Syaoran is dead now and I can't bear to live without him any longer. I have held off this long in order to wait for the arrival of your new mistress. I am tired of living now. I have had to watch my friends and family die, but I was able to endure it because Syaoran and the two of you were always with me, but even Syaoran is gone now."  
  
"Don't leave us." I whispered. I couldn't stand the death of another person I cared for. Never have I hated my existence as much as I did now. Never have I hated Clow for creating me to be what I am until now. To live while the master that I love dies and to leave me alone and empty again. I don't know how much longer I could endure this emotional torture before going insane. I do not want to live if I have to continue losing those I love the most to death. It was too cruel.  
  
"I will never truly leave you." Sakura said as tears formed in her eyes. I knew then that although she was tired she did not want to leave us. Sakura loved Keroberus and I. She was our first true friend. Clow regarded us as his companions but Sakura regarded us as her friends and her family. "Please don't cry. I have arranged everything for you already. I have determined who the knew Card Mistress should be and she will love you as much as I do if not more."  
  
"We don't need another mistress!" Keroberus roared fiercely as if in an attempt to frighten her into staying with us. I smiled sardonically at that statement that I had made to Clow so long ago. This time Keroberus and I were in accord. Sakura was the only one we wanted. She was our beloved friend.   
  
"Kero-chan, Yue, please accept your new mistress. I know you will come to love her if you give her a chance like you have with me. She needs your friendship and your love. Protect her and guide her since I will be unable to."  
  
I wrapped my arm more securely around her and bent my head down to rest my chin lightly on her head saying "We only want you." Sakura's lips quirked into a faint smile, but said nothing. She just stared quietly out the window. I knew that was her way of allowing us the silence we needed to accept her death. I did not want to accept it though. It was to harsh a truth for me to accept once again. I had not dealt with the death of someone I truly loved for a long time. Not since Touya's death and Yukito's retreat. Syaoran was friend and I cared for him because he was the one that my mistress loved though I never loved him. I was to jealous of him to love him, but because Sakura had a big heart, I was able to learn from her to care about him.  
  
Finally knowing that we could not change the inevitable no matter how much magic we possessed Keroberus asked her quietly, "Where can we find her?"  
  
Sakura's eyes lit up as she realized that we had finally accepted her impending death as unalterable fact she answered, "At Tokyo Memorial. Will you promise me you will go there and find her? Promise me you will give her a chance to love you and give yourselves a chance to love her?"  
  
"Yes..." I replied brokenly. I could never refuse Sakura anything. I was willing to do anything to make her happy. I had given her up to Syaoran to allow her happiness with him and I was ready now to promise to give her successor a chance like I had given her that day long ago when she offered me the treasure of her friendship. I did it so that Sakura could die reassured and content. If it made Sakura happy, I would do it no matter how much it pained me.  
  
With a content smile Sakura closed her eyes and a perfect white rose formed in her hand. I could see the pink energy surrounding it and turned a startled look to Sakura. "This rose contains all my remaining power. Please give it to you new mistress when you feel she is ready to have it. This is my gift to her. It will also help lead you to her."  
  
"If that is your remaining power then you will not live much longer." Keroberus pointed out.  
  
Sakura gave us a sad smile before reaching up to brush her lips lightly against my cheek then bending down to do the same to Keroberus's head. "It is almost time. Your mistress will be arriving soon and therefore I must depart. Please be happy."  
  
"No!" I cried. It was too soon. I needed more time with her. Just another hour.  
  
"Yue, Kero-chan, thank-you for always being there for me. I love you both very much." Sakura whispered before closing her eyes. Her breathing slowed and finally came to a stop.   
  
Tears spilled from my eyes and splashed against her alabaster skin. I kissed her forehead and whispered in a anguished voice, "Good-bye Sakura. I love you." Keroberus was nuzzling her lap wetting the fabric of the skirt she was wearing with his own tears. We stayed there crying over her for over an hour, but the rose she gave us pulsated with pink energy beckoned us to leave and grant her last request and find our new mistress.   



	5. Hope

Partings 5: Hope  
By: Starlight Rose  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Clamp owns CCS not me. Though I wish I owned Yue. ::sighs::  
  
A.N. Ok starting with this chapter the depression ends. It's still angsty but it gets lighter towards the end. I generally like happy endings so this sets things up for the next chapter.  
  
*********************************  
  
I strode down a sterile hospital hallway following a power that pulled at me. Keroberus was sitting in a pocket of my jacket probably sound asleep since he hadn't said anything to me in a while. I don't blame him. I feel rather tired myself. Today has been an exhausting day and the two of us still had a lot left to do. We are here in this hospital to do perform our mistress's last request, not order but request. Sakura never ordered anyone to do something. She would merely request it. I miss her already. Tears start forming in my eyes as I think of her, but I brush them away. I had more important things to do than cry. Crying could be saved for later. I used to never cry, but now I feel like if I don't my chest will burst.   
  
I wish it would. Then I could be in peace and be united with my loved ones eternally, but fate is cruel. I am doomed to live as long as I have a master to support me and I always have a master. I think both Clow and Sakura arranged that because they want me to live. They don't understand the pain of living without the ones you love, or at least they don't realize how much I love them.   
  
Keroberus has the same curse upon him, but it doesn't seem to bother him as much. Not to say that it doesn't bother him. Today was the first day I've seen him cry. I think he loved Sakura as much as I did though in a different way. She was his first friend. She was my first friend. Clow loved us but not with the compassion that Sakura loved us. I still don't understand why she had to die, but I know why she no longer wanted to live. It was the same reason I no longer want to live. But she is allowed to die, for she is human and natural. I am not, for I am not human nor am I natural. I was created by magic and as long as magic exists I will live.  
  
As I walked I saw a lot of people both men and women turn to stare at me. I was in a human form that Sakura helped me to create. It was similar to my normal form, but my hair was shorter and of course I had no wings. Other than that and a change of clothes I looked like myself mainly because Sakura thought I was beautiful as I was. I wore Chinese robes that probably were considered old fashioned in this time, but they were comfortable and Sakura made them for me. Anything that she gave me I treasured. I found this form more appealing to me than Yukito's form was, in part because it was easier for me to transform into my true form in this body than it had in Yukito's body and because I had full control of this body. My mind and this form's mind are the same. But I would be lying if I said that those were the only two reasons that I liked this body. The main reason though was because sakura gave me this form. She made this form for me soon after Touya died and Yukito retreated into my consciousness to sleep eternally.   
  
I shivered as I thought about the last time I had visited a hospital. It is strange how despite it being several hundred years since the last time I was here, how little the place seem to change. True the surroundings were different but the atmosphere was still the same and the atmosphere is the important thing. It was several hundred years ago that I was here but the wound still hurts and the fact that similar circumstances are causing me to come back here did not alleviate my grief any.  
  
Finally I traced the power to its source. I stood in front of the door trying to figure out how I would do this and if I wanted to do this. I knew I would because Sakura asked it of me and I could never refuse my mistress anything, but it hurt knowing that I would have to accept a new master now that she was gone. She left me, just like Touya, Yukito, and Clow. I knocked on the door and a strangely familiar voice answered me. Slowly I opened to door and stood there in shock. Before me in a bed sat Sakura's great-great-great-great-great-great grandaughter, Mikage. Mikage looked up at me and smiled before asking, "Yue-san, what brings you here? How is grandmama Sakura? As beautiful, young, and cheerful as always?"  
  
The question was stabbed at my heart and I felt my chest aching again. I wondered why I was here. Sakura had told me I would find my mistess here, and I felt a strong power that was worthy of being the master of the Cards here, but surely it couldn't have been from Mikage. If it had I should have noticed it sooner. Unless she sent me here to inform her family of her death, but that would have been too cruel. I turned my head away and answered softly, "Sakura's passed away."  
  
Mikage's eyes widened in disbelief. "Masaka! How can grandmama Sakura die? She's lived for so long! Why couldn't she have lived a little longer. It's not fair!" Mikage cried. Tears overflowed her amber eyes as her face dropped into her hands.  
  
It's not fair. How many times have I said that to myself today? I don't know, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that Sakura is gone and I must deal with the pain of her parting. But now is not the time for me to grieve. I have other things I must do. Right now I need to comfort someone though I know I need comforting myself. But who could comfort me? The only one that could is now gone.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mikage, but as Clow once said, 'Every living thing must come to its end.' I think Sakura felt it was time for her life to come to its end. Keroberus and I tried to get her to change her mind but she refused. She put the rest of her life and her power into this rose that she told Keroberus and I to deliver to her succcessor for her."  
  
"It's not fair! Why couldn't she wait one more day!" Mikage shouted.  
  
"Mikage, why one more day? Why are you in a hospital?"  
  
Mikage continued to cry. I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know how. Finally Mikage answered me, "I wanted to introduce her to someone special." She walked over to a hospital crib that I had not noticed sitting by the window. Picking up a bundle from the crib she carried it over to me. "I wanted to introduce her to her newest grandchild, Sakura."  
  
"You named the baby after Sakura?"  
  
"Yes. As soon as this child was born she reminded me so much of her that I had to name her Sakura. I wanted to show her to Sakura and was planning on doing it as soon as we could leave the hospital, but Sakura died! Now I can't show Sakura to her. I can't introduce her to her namesake and my child will grow up without having met a beautiful person like grandmama."  
  
"I'm sure she knew. Sakura always knows these things." I said trying to comfort the distrought young woman. "May I hold her?" I asked. I felt a strong attraction to this child and I knew that she was the one Sakura meant for Keroberus and I to guard. Even though I did not want to accept a new master, this baby girl called to me and I answered.  
  
Mikage handed the child to me. I cradled the child carefully in my arms and peered at her closely. I tried to see her aura and saw that it was pink, just like the orginal Sakura. But the aura wasn't the only thing that was like Sakura. The child's presence was also the same presence that I felt when I was around my mistress. The blanket slipped off of the baby's head and revealed a tuft of auburn hair. I cradled the baby closer to my body wondering if this child was the reincarnation of my beloved mistress. I wondered if my mistress had returned to me. Suddenly I felt the child stir in my arms and I looked down at her to be greeted by a pair of emerald green eyes. The child stared at me, yawned, then smiled sleepily and fell back asleep.  
  
I knew it then.  
  
This child was my mistress. She was Sakura. Never was I so sure of anything, but I knew that I would accept this child and protect her. I would do everything to ensure her happiness and I would make sure that she knew she was special and loved. This time I would make sure that my mistress understood just how much I loved her even if she did not love me back that way.   
  
"Mikage," I whispered softly. Mikage's face lifted off out of her hands where they had fallen again while I was examining the child. "This child is special. She is Sakura. She is my mistress and I wish to watch over her always. If you would like you and your family may move into the mansion with Keroberus and I. That mansion is too big for the two of us anyway. I think living in such a big mansion with only Keroberus and I for company the last few years has made Sakura lonely and sad. Now with Sakura gone I would be sad living there with only Ketoberus. If you do not wish to then I would like to move in with your family or at least close to it so that I may watch over my mistress."  
  
"My child is Sakura?" Mikage asked shocked. I nodded solemnly. Mikage smiled then and replied, "Then I think I will accept your offer Yue-san, but will Kero-chan mind?"  
  
"Will I mind what?" Keroberus asked as he awoke from his nap and flew out of my pocket. He looked around apparently feeling Sakura's aura. Finally he looked down at the child sleeping in my arms and whispered softly, "This baby feels like Sakura. She is our new mistress."  
  
"I know." I replied. "She will be living with us now and we will protect her from now on."  
  
Keroberus looked at me in surprise, "You accept her that easily?"  
  
"How can I not? She is Sakura." I replied.  



	6. Forever

Partings 6: Forever  
By: Starlight Rose  
Email: starlighto_rose@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: The goddesses of Clamp own CCS, but I own my characters.  
  
A.N. Last chapter, maybe....you decide. Yue is a bit OOC but I needed to make him that way to get this interaction to work.  
  
*****************************  
  
I stood out in the garden staring at the cherry trees with their red and gold leaves and sighed sadly. I missed Sakura already. I was so used to spending my days watching over her and now it felt strange for me to have to sit around the mansion all day with nothing to do. Keroberus kept himself occupied with those video games of his, but I unfortunately am not so easily amused so I spent the day out in the garden.   
  
Sakura was five now. Today was her first day of school and also the first day since she was born that I was not with her. I missed her sorely. I was tempted to try and get a job at Sakura's school to watch over her while she was in school, but I refrained. Well maybe not, that I refrained myself but rather Mikage told me that Sakura needed to make some friends outside of the family because the original Sakura would have wanted that for Sakura as well and had gotten into numerous arguments with the Li clan about that. I knew she was right but that didn't mean I had to like the idea of Sakura at school without anyone's protection.  
  
I started to head back to the house when I felt Sakura's aura approaching. I wanted to meet her as she got home, but it turned out I didn't need to. Sakura found me. I saw her auburn hair head bouncing over to me. I knew from her face that she had enjoyed her first day of school. It's selfish of me but I wished that her day hadn't turned out well, that way I would have an excuse to keep her at home longer. To keep her to myself longer. But she was happy and I am not selfish enough to deny her that happiness. I turned to face her and watch her run up to me.  
  
"Yue-san!" Sakura cried running up to me. Her face was joyful and her green eyes were shining brightly. She reached me and gave my waist a big hug since she was only as tall as my waist. It probably never occurred to her to ask me to kneel so that she could hug me properly, but Sakura had always been impulsive.  
  
I smiled at her or what for me would pass for a smile. Most people would hardly call my slight upturn of my lips a smile, but Sakura knew better. She waited for me to kneel to return her hug. I did so and picked her up as I stood up again. "Did you want to see me for some reason Sakura?" I asked her gently. I was only ever so gentle with her. Everyone else thought I was cold especially Keroberus. But I cannot help my personality, I am the personification of the moon. I draw my power from her, but in turn she affects me with her dark, cold nature. But Sakura doesn't mind it. She never minded.  
  
Sakura snuggled closer to my chest and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and informed me, "I wanted Yue-san to be the first one I tell about my first day of school."  
  
"I am honored that I am the first one you wanted to talk to mistress but may I ask why me?" I asked her putting her down on a stone bench.  
  
"Y-U-E-san!" Sakura screamed at me, "Stop calling me that!"  
  
"But you are my mistress, so I should call you as such." I teased. I knew that she hated the title, but Sakura was cute when she was mad. I could fully understand why Touya enjoyed teasing her so much, but like Touya I felt I was the only one allowed to tease her.   
  
Sakura looked at me sadly then, "Is it because I'm you're mistress that you spend so much time with me?"  
  
"Yes, but..." I started abandoning my teasing but Sakura quickly interrupted me.  
  
"I don't want to be your mistress Yue-san."  
  
"So you do not want to spend time with me?"  
  
"No! Not at all, but I don't want you to spend time with me because I'm your mistress. I want Yue-san to be happy, so Yue-san doesn't need to watch over me. I can take care of myself." Sakura replied looking at me with eyes brimming full of tears.  
  
I felt my heart melt at the site of this child and knelt beside her. I wiped away her tears and lifted her head up to look me in the eyes, "I want to spend time with you Sakura. It makes me happy to get to spend time with you."  
  
"But Yue-san, I don't want to be your mistress. I want to be your friend. I want you to spend time with me because you want to, not because you have to." Sakura protested.  
  
My mind flashed back to several centuries ago when another little girl only a few years older had stood before me saying the same thing. Sakura was Sakura, not matter if it was then or now. Then and now Sakura was a caring, gentle girl that worried more about the happiness of others than her own, but that was what made me love her. She was bright and beautiful and deserved to carry star power, because like the stars her brilliance never seems to die.   
  
I snapped myself out of my moment of nostalgia though when I felt Sakura's arms wrap around my neck and her head bury itself into my neck. I felt several moist teardrops hit my skin and frowned. I pulled her gently away from me and made her look me straight in the eye. "Sakura, " I whispered, "I am your friend and I am with you because I am your friend. I chose to accept you as my mistress when you were born because I wanted to be your friend. So please stop crying."  
  
"Honto?" She asked hopefully her large green eyes luminescent with still lingering teardrops reflecting brightly off them in the afternoon sun.  
  
"Honto," I answered, "Now tell me how your day went."  
  
Sakura brightened immediately and began launching into an account of her day. I listened attentively to her and was happy that she had enjoyed herself and made new friends but unhappy that I no longer had an excuse to try and get her to remain at home longer. My apprehensions were brought to a halt though when Sakura began telling me about her teacher.  
  
"My teacher is a really pretty lady. She's really nice too."  
  
"Really?" I asked, "So what is this pretty teacher's name?"  
  
"Ogata-sensei, she has long dark violet hair and pretty violet eyes."  
  
"Ogata...Ogata...Ogata..." I mumbled. For some reason the name sounded familiar to me but I could not remember where I heard it before.  
  
"When Ogata-sensei saw me she seemed to be really shocked for some reason. She told during lunch time that I looked like someone that she had never met, but had always wanted to meet."  
  
"Really? That is very strange." I told Sakura but I felt there was something I was forgetting like why the name Ogata seemed so familiar.  
  
"Ogata-sensei said that there were some pictures and old tapes that were left by her ancestor and treasured by her family. There was a girl that was also named Sakura in those tapes and pictures that Sensei said looked just like me but older because that Sakura was ten. Sensei showed me a one of the pictures that she kept with her and she even let me have it. The picture is really strange. It has a picture of two girls on it. One of the girls looked exactly like me but older and the other girl was really pretty and looked a bit like Sensei. I've never seen anything like it, it's flat and on something called paper."  
  
"Really? That was nice of your teacher to give you something like that. Paper has not been used for pictures for over a hundred years now. That picture must be very special to your teacher."  
  
Sakura's eyes widened and she asked, "Really? Maybe I should give it back to her then if it's that valuable."  
  
"That may be a good idea but if your teacher gave you something so valuable she must like you a lot. I think she wants you to have the picture."  
  
"Un. I'll keep the picture then. Yue-san, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Of course. You can ask me anything you want."  
  
"What's a tape?" Sakura asked innocently, her eyes wide with curiosity. I laughed quietly at her question as I realized that only Sakura could talk so enthusiastically about something she knew nothing about like tapes.  
  
"Tapes are things you use to record and watch movies on a long time ago. I think we have some here. I'll show them to you if I can pry out of Keroberus where he kept the tapes." I told her. The tapes I had were the ones Tomoyo had recorded of Sakura when the two were children. Tomoyo. The thought struck me suddenly. I now knew why the name Ogata sounded familiar. I turned to Sakura and asked her, "May I see the picture you have?"  
  
"Un!" Sakura replied and dug into her backpack. She pulled out a photograph that seemed to have had meticulous care taken of it since it was only slightly faded by age and had no tears, stains, or any other imperfections in it. Sakura handed me the picture and I looked at it and smiled. Smiling up at me from the picture were Tomoyo and a ten-year-old Sakura. My suspicions were confirmed and I thought it was humorous that Sakura should encounter Tomoyo's descendant so many years later.  
  
"Take good care of this picture, Sakura. The girl in this that looks like you is your ancestor, Sakura Kinomoto, though later known as Sakura Li. The other girl was her best friend Tomoyo Daidouji, though after she was married she was called Tomoyo Ogata."  
  
"Ahh...honto? So my ancestor was Ogata-sensei's ancestor's best friend. Sugoi!" Sakura exclaimed excitedly. "Ne, Yue-san did you know that Sakura?"  
  
I was struck dumb by her question. I had never thought that Sakura might ask me about the other Sakura, but I smiled sadly at her and replied, "Hai. I knew her. She was a very sweet person just like you are. She was always cheerful and loving. You were named after her."  
  
"You loved her didn't you Yue-san?"  
  
Again Sakura's question caught me off guard, but Sakura was always perceptive though in a naive and innocent way. "Hai. She was my first friend. I was her guardian before I became your guardian."  
  
"Honto? Then Yue-san is really old, ne? Demo, you don't look old." Sakura pondered out loud, "Sou ka! You're the guardian angel Sensei told me about? Yue-san are you an angel?"  
  
I blinked and looked at her in confusion, "Angel?"  
  
"Hmmm...Ogata-sensei said that in some of the tapes, Sakura had a guardian angel that always protected her. She said that he was really beautiful with long white hair and great white wings. I thought it he sounded like you and Yue-san is really old but doesn't look old so Yue-san must be an angel." Sakura explained to me smiling sweetly.  
  
"I'm not an angel. Angels have beautiful green eyes, auburn hair, a sweet smile, and a cheerful personality." I whispered softly.  
  
"Eh?" Sakura asked confused.  
  
"Nevermind." I told her.  
  
"Yue-san?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I think you are an angel even if you say you aren't."  
  
I sat down next to Sakura on the bench and smiled at her. "I'm not an angel, but I am your guardian."  
  
Sakura climbed onto my lap and I wrapped an arm around her to keep her from slipping off. She snuggled into my arms and closed her eyes. "Even if you aren't an angel, can you be my guardian angel forever?"  
  
I kissed her head softly and replied, "Hai, anything you wish boku wa tenshi."  
  
*****************************  
  
A.N. I had intended for this to be the last chapter but then I realized that I could write more for this for the relationship between Yue and Sakura as she grew up and into her power, but I don't know how I might do that. If you think I should continue or have any ideas write me and even if you don't tell me what you think.  
  
Boku wa tenshi - My angel  



End file.
